


Viewpoint

by eleanor_lavish, thepsychicclam



Series: Valiant Effort [8]
Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-18
Updated: 2009-07-18
Packaged: 2017-11-28 03:41:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/669864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eleanor_lavish/pseuds/eleanor_lavish, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepsychicclam/pseuds/thepsychicclam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elijah studies and thinks he's worthless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Viewpoint

**Author's Note:**

> Written by Clammy.

Elijah sometimes felt worthless. Billy wrote spectacular songs, Orlando and Dom were amazing musicians with so much to bring to the group, and Elijah did nothing but occasionally throw a line out there that made Billy, Orlando, and Dom look at him in awe and respect. But those moments were rare.

School was hard even if he never went. There was still the occasional philosophy test or history paper that required him to stay up all night working after an eight or nine hour shift at the bar. In between shots and mugs of beer, he’d pull the notes, gotten from Mary in exchange for a well made shag and a few whispered words of devotion, out from under the counter and learn about Nietzsche or Kant, wondering why in the hell he decided to major in that. Why hadn’t he picked art or business? Oh yeah. He was talentless and not very bright.

The guys were great and helped Elijah whenever they had a spare moment. Billy’d stand in the kitchen, tie loose around his neck and tension lines from a hard day at the office still visible, listening to Elijah try and recite the theories and ideas covered in the pages of his notes. Orlando would stay up in bed at night, Billy lying asleep and softly snoring against his side, and teach Elijah all he didn’t know from the pages of notes lying in front of him and shared a beer when Elijah got so upset he wanted to drop out. And Dom helped him the most. They’d lie for hours straight, Elijah’s head resting in Dom’s lap, while Elijah stared up in wonder at the amount of knowledge he possessed. No one’d ever guess that underneath the tattoos, piercings, and black leather there was a brilliant mind. So, Dom taught Elijah philosophy all night long so he could stumble into class at 9 am red-eyed and exhausted and pass his test.

But he didn’t know why the guys kept him around. He was young, still had to answer to his parents, and American. He’d played drums in the high school band, complete in the heavy and colorful geeky suits at football games and parades, and got his ass kicked constantly after school. The jocks would pick on him for being small, for being in the band, for having blue eyes – it didn’t matter. They’d think of anything they didn’t like for that particular day and commence to pound him until his nose was bleeding and he saw two of everything. Then he’d pick himself up off the hot asphalt after thirty minutes of agony and trudge home, where he snuck in the back door and cleaned himself up before his parents could see. He blamed the black eyes on gym class volley ball and other teenage horseplay. And he kept getting his ass kicked.

The first guy Elijah ever had a crush on played in a punk garage band, and Elijah played drums for him just so he could watch his ass everyday. And because of that, he got pretty good at it, plus there was nothing else to do because he had no friends. So everyday after school Elijah would go to Evan’s house and play with them. And soon he was wearing black and chains and spiking his hair, so the jocks beat him up for that. Then Evan decided he wanted to test out his own sexuality and have Elijah suck his cock. After a few weeks of secret blowjobs and a few quick fucks, Evan decided he was straight and spread around to everyone that Elijah was gay after kicking him out of the band. Elijah’s small town didn’t like the idea of gay punks in the school, so the jocks beat him straight one day – so straight that he spent a couple days in the hospital.

He swore to his parents that he wasn’t gay. They weren’t prepared for a gay son, and he wasn’t prepared to come out as he lay in the hospital bed with his arm in a sling and a concussion. So he pretended to be straight and told his parents that stuff like that happened in high school, when in actuality things like that only happened to Elijah. Had been happening ever since the third grade when all the boys shot up past him and Elijah was left smaller than even the girls. That was the year that Bobby Stroud tripped him during recess and he busted his chin open and accidentally wet himself. And that was the end of any social life Elijah would ever have.

After the hospital incident, Elijah dropped band and vowed to become a musician, but his parents didn’t want a rocker son, so Elijah practiced for the hell of practicing and came to NYU on their money. If he hadn’t have found Billy, Dom, and Orlando, he’d probably be in a fraternity drinking and wasting his life away.

None of the guys knew about Elijah’s school years and he meant to keep it that way. He knew they’d all came from hard backgrounds: Billy an orphan at fourteen, Orlando the trophy son of some rich family, and Dom’s poor and struggling family that put him on the streets and working before he was old enough. But all that seemed so different, so tragic and awe inspiring. When they all sat around drinking and retelling war stories, Elijah remained silent. He wasn’t about to admit to being a human punching bag and wetting himself almost every time a classmate pushed him down (which was often) on the playground.

And he was scared enough as it was that one day they’d all decide to drop him like a hot coal. He loved each one of them like a brother. He was in awe of them all and wanted to be just like them. Billy with his talent and innate coolness that Elijah never possessed, Orlando with his charm and good looks that Elijah always wished for, and Dom with his badass attitude that would have saved his neck countless times. Plus he not only idolized Dom, he was in love with him.

Elijah fully realized that he was too geeky, too much of a loser to ever have Dom fall in love with him. The guys and girls Dom always dated were the ultimate in cool, waltzing into the apartment with their aloof manners and uber-liberal political stances. He watched them in admiration, wishing for one second that he could be that cool. But instead he always made some corny joke that Dom laughed at while his date glared at Elijah like he was a cockroach, or took the wrong political standpoint which got him attacked, or simply had on the wrong kind of shoes.

Even though Dom dated those pretentious jerks, he always came home and stayed up drinking beer with Elijah until Elijah almost fell asleep mid-sentence. They’d play old school Nintendo while Dom complained about his latest disaster, telling Elijah that New York may have been full of people, but there wasn’t a suitable one within a thousand mile radius. This comforted Elijah some, but it didn’t stop Dom from dating often.

He always had his own share of dates, many of the men finding him endearing and innocent until they’d had their way with him and never called again. This was fine with Elijah because he wasn’t interested in them for anything more than an easy way to get off without using his own hands, which he used enough. Elijah didn’t want to waste any energy on a relationship unless it was with one Dominic Monaghan.

But the band never got rid of him, never beat him up or yelled at him or told him he sucked. They accepted him as one of their own, taking him under their wing because even though they were in a foreign country, they needed to protect him. He eventually learned that they respected and admired him as both a person and a musician, but childhood fears don’t die easily. He still woke up at night and couldn’t fall back asleep because he was terrified that one day soon everything would be over.

~Fin  



End file.
